Thoughts.

Sometimes it’s hard to be a 16-year-old.

In the first moment you’re laughing at some stupid joke one of your friends made and in the next, you’re sitting there, in the middle of the night, feeling like some piece of shit.

And you just don’t know why you’re feeling so sad and depressed.

It just pops up out of nowhere and doesn’t let you go for a very long time.

And then you have to escape in music, writing or anything else ‘cause if you don’t, you’re close to the edge.

I think everyone has these moments, doesn’t matter how happy he is. Nobody can be happy every single day ‘cause in case it wouldn’t be any special.

Everyone has a day or only a short time where you feel like you’re never going to be happy again.

Where all the pain you have ever felt comes back and jumps at you and doesn’t want to let you go.

He just stays there and makes you paralytic, so you’re unable to keep going with your life.

But then you’re talking to your friends or parents or just looking at your sleeping cat while he’s dreaming and making cute noises and you smile and you know that this pain is far behind you.

That it will never come back ‘cause you have something to look forward to, ‘cause you have something to fight for and ‘cause you want to explore so many things on this amazing world that you can’t let yourself get overwhelmed by the pain.

And I think, this moments are the ones, where we are happy ‘cause we know that we have our whole life to do whatever we want to do.

It’s everyone’s own decision what to do with it, but the important thing is that we can.  

We have the opportunity to live, to travel and to love.

And of course, even if I try to hold on to these thoughts, the pain comes and I get surprised by it every single time.

We can’t change that.

But we can try to fight against it.